Shut Up and Be Grateful

"The First Thanksgiving at Plymouth" (1914) Jennie A. Brownscombe

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Here are a few ideas to make your Thanksgiving really festive:

1. Don't use a fork. The "first" Thanksgiving dinner was eaten with a spoon, a knife, and fingers. Your kids will love it.

2. Shoot the bird yourself. I think just taking your cooked turkey outside and shooting it with an air soft gun counts. But that's just me.

3. Make the feast a week long event. I'm pretty sure everyone does this. They're called leftovers, and they NEVER go away...

4. Have your guests build their own shelter. The pilgrims had just finished building their own houses, so if guests arrived they had to build THEIR own. How do you like that Aunt Sourpuss?

5. Instead of bringing your hostess a bottle of cider or a candle, bring them fresh venison in tradition of the Native Americans. It says so much when you killed it, gutted it, skinned it, and boned it yourself. Doesn't it?

Now that you're shirtless and roasting the bird over an open fire, I think it's time to eat. Don't you?

Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy the food, the family, and the football.

Just not in that order...

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